His first birthday
by thenextshondarhimes
Summary: Amelia is having some difficulties dealing with what has happened to her son.


Amelia Shepherd sat at the grave of her deceased boyfriend Ryan. "He turns one tomorrow, our son, you would have been so proud of him, he's perfect in every way. Every day right as I get home the nanny leaves- I usually don't even see her, and I go into his nursery and he's just sitting in there, in his crib, in all his perfection. Our perfect baby boy. No one ever asks to take care of him though, not even Addison, who is obsessed with babies." She slowly started walking away to her car. She realized that she would need someone to watch Ryan longer than usual today because she was going to run errands for tomorrow. She planned to throw her son, Ryan Christopher Shepherd, an awesome first birthday party. "Hey Addison, it's Amelia, I know you are in surgery but is there any way you could go over to my house tonight when the nanny leaves and take care of Ryan, he'll probably be in his crib and you should be there around five, thanks so much." She got into her car and went about her errands.

Around three O'clock, Addison gets out of surgery and checks her phone. After listening to the voicemail of Amelia she calls Charlotte. "Amelia can't do that" Addison says.

"It's all part of the processes of what she's going through right now," Charlotte replies.

"But this can't keep happening, I can't always be here to help her out."

"This is only the first time."  
"You and I both know this won't be a one time deal- why don't I go with you, she can probably use both of our help with this."

"Alright I'll be by the office in five minutes."

Addison's phone starts ringing and it's Amelia. "Hello," Addison says.

"Hey, so you got my message right, I'm on my way to Toys R Us and then I should be back within an hour, I hope you got a present for your nephew's first birthday."

"Charlotte and I are going over there right now," Addison says.

Amelia walks into Toys R Us and grabs a cart. A sales associate asks her if she needs any help and how old the kid she is shopping for is. "He's one," Amelia tells her.

"Oh isn't the first year great, there are so many milestones and experiences, first steps, first words, oh just so many firsts! Tell me, what was your son's first word?" The clerk asks her. Amelia starts to fidget and get uncomfortable.

"Oh, um. I really don't have time for this right now," She said and hurried on her way. She went down one of the aisles of toys categorized for 0-1 year olds. Looking around at the toys she chose a musical dog that had different textures and lights up and dances when you squeeze its. paws. Addison and Charlotte stand at the other end of the aisle. Amelia doesn't see them and turns in the opposite direction to leave and sees a woman holding a newborn baby in her arms. "My son was like that once, but now he's a year old." She says quietly. Addison and Charlotte follow her, she still doesn't notice them and continues going down different aisles. "One day, I can buy things like this for my son!" She says to herself from the lego aisle.

"We have to do this now," Charlotte whispers to Addison. Addison walks up to Amelia and puts an arm around her.

"Hey Amelia, it's o.k, let's go put this dog back and go home," She says gently.  
"Who is at home watching my little Ryan?" She asks.

"That's why we're here," Addison starts.  
"What's wrong, did something happen to him?"  
"Amelia, you had him, you did have him, but he died in your arms and never left the hospital."  
"NO! NO! WHAT KIND OF A MONSTER ARE YOU, WHO SAYS THAT TO SOMEONE, WHO TELLS SOMEONE THEIR SON HAS BEEN DEAD FOR A YEAR" Amelia begins to cry.

Charlotte takes a try, "Amelia, Ryan, your boyfriend and Ryan your son have been dead for over a year and a year respectively."

"But that's impossible, I take care of him every day and I have pictures of them in my wallet." Amelia opens her wallet and pulls out photo paper squares. "See!" She looks at them first and sees nothing but blank white paper. "What? Who took my pictures," She looks at another picture, a selfie she took at Disneyland. "Ryan was there with me, I took him last week, his first trip to Disneyland, he was in this picture when I took it, why can't I SEE HIM WHY CAN'T I SEE MY SON." Addison looks at Charlotte. "HIS BRAIN" she yells. "HE WAS BORN WITHOUT A BRAIN AND HE DIED." She throws the toy dog at display of legos and they all fall down. She falls to the floor but Addison catches her. "We've been trying to tell you for months," Addison says and pats her back.


End file.
